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Drive-by shootings have nothing on the Nintendo Wii. Fat people across the world are finding further excuses not to exercise. According to doctors in Britain, up to 10 people are admitted to the hospital each week due to Nintendo Wii-related injuries. “There has been a 100 percent increase in patients complaining of Wii-itis,” said Dr. [...]

In a desperate attempt to remain relevant, Tori Spelling admitted this week that her cans are fake. The struggling actress, attempting to revive her career, just released a tell-all biography entitled Stori Telling. When asked about her past cosmetic procedures, Spelling finally admitted to increasing her bust. Said Tori in a USA Today interview, “A [...]

Jingbin Wang was teaching his American foreign policy class when a gunman suddenly busted into the classroom. The gunman pointed the gun at Wang as he forced the 7 students in the classroom to line up against the wall. While complaining that he was kicked out of school and needed a lung transplant, the gunman [...]

Do you have breasts the size of mosquito bites? Could a single strand of dental floss double as a training bra? Did someone drop two tic-tacs down your shirt? Well, if you are in desperate need of breast augmentation surgery but fear the pain and recovery time associated with the procedure, you may be in [...]

Doctors are stumped, but what else is new? A 17-year-old British teen, Natalie Cooper, is afflicted with a mysterious disease that causes her to vomit after consuming any type of solid food. Doctors initially diagnosed the teen with bulimia, but then realized the condition is beyond the teen’s control.  In order to maintain a healthy [...]

Head rodent Punxsutawney Phil was pulled out of his stump this morning by members of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle in a tradition known as Groundhog Day. The members, dressed in top-hats and tuxedos, determined that the groundhog did in fact see his shadow and that we are headed for six more weeks [...]

Purchasing weed has never been easier. If you have a prescription that is. Beginning on Monday, qualified patients will be able to use a vending machine to purchase legal medical marijuana in Los Angeles. The state has approved the use of two vending machines to sell marijuana, each located in a herbal nutritional center. The [...]

So now we learn that Eddie Murphy and film producer Tracey Edmonds are not legally married. The couple spent New Year’s 2008 exchanging vows on a private island off Bora Bora in French Polynesia. It was widely assumed that the couple had wed. A joint statement released by the couple states: “After much consideration and discussion, [...]

Forbes Magazine just came out with a survey of the 50 most lustful cities in America. The winning city is….drum roll please….Denver, Colorado. Cities were ranked based on the sale of contraceptives as compared with population size. According to the report, Denver sells a whopping 189% more condoms than would be expected for a city [...]

The American Dialect Society and its 80 members sat around for 2 days debating the top words of 2007. After much debate, The Society has named “subprime” the 2007 word of the year. For those who don’t know, subprime is an adjective used to describe a risky or less than ideal loan, mortgage or investment.